Super Awesome Adventure Kawaii
by PocketVeto
Summary: This fan fiction is really a parody of a fan fiction I came across on the Digimon Wiki page. This is what I do when I can't sleep at night ...
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One:**

Bob sat at his desk, tapping away at the keys to his computer. He was in the bedroom of his apartment, which was well kept except for the immediate area around him. Days worth of tissues and soda cans were built up around his chair. He didn't mind this mess because summer vacation had just began and he wouldn't need to leave his desk for the next couple of months.

Leaning all the way back in his chair, Bob took a swig of mountain dew and dropped the empty can over his shoulder. He cackled; the forums were exploding over his latest posts. "Dance, my minions, dance!" He twiddled his fingers together as if he were an evil genius witnessing a plan coming together.

His cackling was cut short by the ding of an instant message. He twirled his chair to the right so that he could reach the mouse without having to sit up. He clicked the headline warning him of the new message and a chat window opened up.

**roxYOfac3:** YO DIC HEAD! U TINK YOUR SO FUNNY WIT UR DUM OPINONIONS!?

**roxYOfac3:** WAT DO U DINK ABOU TIS!?

The next line was a link of gobbledegook. Recognizing the link was to nothing good, Bob ignored it. He spun his chair back around and kicked his feet up onto the desk to return to relishing in his trolling. As he put his right foot down, however, he knocked into the mouse and clicked the link.

The computer made noise as it tried to work out the link information. Bob sat up and tried to ctr-alt-delete his way out of it, but it was of no use. "Damn you, rocks your face! You stupid maggot!" He began clicking the screen because, you know, that helps.

Eventually the computer thought out the problem and the noise quieted to a whisper. The screen flashed a few times before the image of a strange looking forest came into view. A voluptuous woman stood in the middle of the screen. Her face was partially covered by a black piece of cloth, but that wasn't the part of her Bob was interested in seeing. Her body was something straight out of his wet dreams, and as he started to reach for the closest box of tissues he disappeared from his room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

Bob fell onto the ground as his chair was no longer there to support him. The ground was hard, despite the plush grass covering it. He groaned and rolled to his side, "Ow! I fell on a rock!"

"What the Digi-Hell are you!?" The woman from the screen stood above him, holding a sword right above his head.

Bob turned to look at who was talking and, upon seeing the sword, scrambled to his feet. "What are you trying to do to me, lady? Kill me?"

The woman looked down at her sword and then back at the boy. She dropped the point of the blade to the ground. "Maybe."

Bob huffed. "Stupid idiot ..." He looked around his new surroundings and then back to the woman. "Where am I? Who are you? How did I get here?"

The woman leaned against the brace of her sword, which was big enough to support her well endowed … arms. "This is the digital world. I am Mervamon, but you can call me Candi. I'm no concierge, but I think you came through that computer." She pointed a finger to the computer console that was billowing smoke.

Bob ran over to the computer. He swore as he ran his fingers through his short, brown hair. "This isn't good. It's broken! I don't know how to fix computers, I just use them for the Internet!" He kicked the computer with enough force to open it.

Candi walked over, dragging her sword behind her. "Well, we could always take it to the repair shop in the Digi-City. I'm sure they're competent."

Bob scowled at her. "And what is that suppose to mean?"

Candi shrugged. As she raised her arms her sword lifted off the ground as if it were nothing. "All I'm saying is if you're going to be jumping between dimensions you should at least know how to repair your vehicle in case of emergencies."

Bob ripped the computer off of the nature it was resting on and tucked it under his arm. "This wasn't my intention. Some maggot sent me a link to your stupid world. Now, which way to this repair shop?"

Candi spun on her heels and headed in a definite direction. "This way, it isn't too far off."

* * *

Bob was panting as he followed behind Candi. "I thought – _pant_ – you said – _pant_ – it wasn't – _pant_ – too far off – _pant pant_." He collapsed onto his hands and knees, allowing the computer to spill across the ground.

Candi turned to frown at the boy. "It's only been three minutes! Really, you're terrible at this inter-dimensional travel! How can you protect yourself from unknown dangers if you get out of breathe taking a leisurely walk?"

Bob reached a reluctant hand out, grabbed the edge of the computer, and pulled it in close. "Stupid idiot – _pant_ – I told you I didn't plan this trip!" He got to his feet and staggered forward. After a couple more agonizing minutes, Bob could see the city. It appeared to be a normal human city, except the buildings were so high that, despite it being mid afternoon, there were lights illuminating the streets.

"Digi-city is the only city in all of the Digital World." Candi remarked.

"Digital World?" Bob questioned, having heard this term for the second time in less than ten minutes.

"Yes, this world and everything in it is made up of data. It is all a digital representation of whatever can be found in your world; that's why we put "digi" in front of everything."

Bob studied the woman to see if there was any hint of insanity. "You're joking, right? If this were all data then it would mean we're inside a giant computer."

Candi snorted in amusement. "Well, you're the one who traveled _through a computer_ to get here."

Bob thought for a moment. It was a crazy idea, but one he couldn't argue with at the moment. He huffed in response, "Idiot."

* * *

When the duo reached the city there was a small line waiting at its gates. They took their place at the end of it, which made Bob uncomfortable because the entire group in front of them turned to stare. No one said anything, but they stared. Even the people working the gate stared. Bob shuffled the computer back and forth between his arms as he tried to act nonchalant. Normally he would have made a big fuss, but for some reason yelling "come at me bro!" at an armor-plated Tyrannosaurs-Rex with military grade weapons strapped to its back didn't seem like a smart move. Instead he kept his head low until it was their turn at the gate.

"Name and identification," requested a ghost with a police hat. He floated inside a little glass box attached to the wall of the city. The set up reminded Bob of a toll booth, though he had seen no vehicles drive through it.

Candi reached down her bosom and fished out a small leather pouch. She opened it up and pulled out a small plastic card, not unlike a driver's licenses. She handed it over to the ghost. "My name is Candilicious."

The ghost perked up. "Oh ho ho, Miss. Licious!" He smiled as he handed the licenses back. "Welcome back!" The wooden toll bar raised, letting Candi through the gate. Bob tried to follow after her, but the bar snapped down on him.

The ghost frowned. "Name and identification, _sir!_"

Bob picked himself up and looked at Candi for an answer. She looked at him and back at the guard. Her expression morphed into an alluring gaze. She leaned against the toll bar, just as she had done before with her sword. "Oh come now, couldn't you look the other way just this once?" She bit her lip and pushed her biceps closer together to emphasize what didn't need emphasis.

The ghost's jaw hung down as he stared at the toll bar. He began reaching for the release button without moving his eyes. Once he hit it the bar began to rise. Candi didn't move until the very last minute, allowing the ghost to enjoy the show for as long as he could. Bob went through while he was distracted.

Past the gate was an open street of strange looking monsters walking in and out of skyscrapers. "Wow." Bob exclaimed.

* * *

Candi led Bob into a store on the second level of a skyscraper. It was a small store made to look even smaller by the clutter of electronics scattered everywhere. A small, yellow dinosaur stood behind the counter, trying to untangle a rat-nest of wires. He wore a red Hawaiian shirt, but no pants. Bob found this an odd decision and wondered if clothes were optional in the Digital World. He said nothing, but gave a leering look at Candilicious.

Candi walked over to the dinosaur and waved a hand in front of him. "Hey there, Steven!"

Steven put down the wires and smiled. "Hello, Candi. What brings you into my shop today?"

Candi pointed a thumb behind her at Bob. "We have a broken computer terminal. Think you can fix it?"

Steven reached out his claws to Bob. "Well, let me take a look."

Bob jumped back when he saw the claws reaching for him. It took a nudge from Candi to get him to realize the dinosaur wanted the computer and not his intestines. He handed it over and took his place next to Candi, taking a half step behind her just in case.

Steven opened the computer and looked inside. He stuck a talon in and frowned. "Well there's your problem, your entire motherboard is turned to ash. What have you been doing with this computer?"

Without skipping a beat Candi replied, "Trans-dimensional transportation."

Steven studied her to see if she was serious. When he realized she was, he began studying Bob. "You're not a digimon, are you?"

Bob shook his head. "No, I'm not. I'm human and I would like to get back to my own world, if you don't mind." He pointed towards the computer to try and hurry the dinosaur along.

Steven chuckled. "Well I'll be! A human! We haven't had one of you here in centuries. I can fix the computer right up, but it's going to take me a little time."

Candi huffed. "I hate waiting!"

Steven popped open his cash register, pulled out a deck of cards, and placed it on the counter. "Here, you can waste some time playing that new card game everyone is enthralled with." He nudged his deck towards Bob.

Candi clapped her hands together "Okay!" She reached her hand into her bosom again, this time pulling out her own deck of cards.

Bob picked up the deck from the counter. "What is this?"

Candi led Bob to the far corner of the shop. She pushed some computer components aside to reveal a table with two chairs. "It's a deck, silly! Here, I'll teach you how to play!"

The two sat down and played a game that will probably have no future role in this story. Candi won, but then again Bob was a little distracted by her enormous … talent.


End file.
